It took just a little daring for me to send an anonymous manuscript to be considered for an award, but to be bold enough to join a workshop or to take a creative writing course? Not likely, not me.
Most of what I have learnt about writing so far has come from reading fiction, author blogs, more fiction, biographies, and more fiction. It has come from the children’s books I grew up with, and from literature papers taken decades ago when I was right out of school. Learning like this let me remain mostly anonymous, mostly alone, and mostly uncertain.
Then out of the blue, I won that award. Suddenly people knew that I liked to write, and they were warm and enthusiastic about it. Some even shared their own writing with me. They let me know about writing groups and organisations that I might enjoy. They were generous with their knowledge and encouragement.
I began to feel that perhaps I could – even should – join organisations like Storylines, and the New Zealand Society of Authors. In reality, I could have done this years ago. They are both open to anyone interested in writing, including unpublished writers. All that I was missing was an outward-looking attitude, and perhaps a dash of what felt to me like boldness.
Now all of a sudden I am on useful mailing lists, full of links to tip sheets, workshops, and get-togethers. I’m even about to sign myself up for an online workshop (here is where I breathe in sharply!) In the past, I probably wouldn’t have known about that workshop. If I had known, I would have clicked away from it, somewhat wistfully. I would have cursed my shyness and carried on in my own, anonymous way.
I have learnt that writers are most often warm and welcoming people. They share encouragement because we need encouragement. I have learnt that publishers love literature. Yes, there is a business side to the industry, but the people are in it because they love good writing, and they want to encourage good writing.
All of this encouragement and all of these resources were available to me as an unpublished writer, if only I had opened myself up to them.
I am still uncertain in many ways, and still at the very beginning of my writing journey. I expect my confidence to fluctuate along the way, but I have come to realise that I am in excellent company. I am no longer quite so nervous in that company, and in fact, I am very grateful for it. I will try to seek it out more often.
Tania Sickling 